Heres the hard one. For men Heart opens when you feel successful in helping others. And how can you say it is written for women when, in fact, it tells men how to get the kinds of outcomes they want? I think his characterizations of male and female roles are stereotyped and rigid. PR.com: I cant speak for men. (LogOut/ Here they are in much earlier days, before all the ducking and dodging and pausing and preparing. Boards are the best place to save images and video clips. No one has really done that. Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with. Men need high testosterone. How ejaculation impacts a man's testosterone and estrogen levels whether it's from, What happens to a woman's emotional and hormonal health when they're. When the kids were little we didnt have that much sex. You are going to buy what you want and thats it. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. Feel it and know that it is not you. On the other hand, it is not a small service he provides if, as has been my experience, doing what he says to do makes everything better. Men need to do something that makes them feel successful. Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. And is it really irrational to do first the only thing you can do firstthis is from Bonnie Grays point of viewand so, clear the way to do what can, after all, be done second? I dont know. Access the best of Getty Images with our simple subscription plan. Release the past, reconnect, and rediscover play. His point in this book is that we dont know what we need to know because our parents didnt tell us and they didnt tell us because we are living a life that would have mystified them entirely. But speaking as a woman, when I read in your book how women really need that female bonding and camaraderie, and how they spent all day bonding with other women many decades ago, I was picturing an old fashioned sewing circle. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. That book did well, self-published. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. And why are levels of infertility skyrocketing in women, while sexual virility is now rapidly declining in men as they reach middle age? I know Ive been the emotional one plenty of times, not aware of why. My jobs much easier then. Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that Its oxytocin. (He says he didnt like being questioned, but by saying as little as this, he was able to prevent clashing with her). Hier knnen Sie Inhalte sammeln, auswhlen und Anmerkungen zu Ihren Dateien hinterlegen. This information is eye-opening and answers many of the questions married couples have been asking for years. Oprah Winfrey's heart and creative instincts inform the brand -- and the magnetism of the channel.Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. Just today my wife was having a strong reaction about [something], and because I know Mars/Venus I wont say much (laughs). Thats why Ive written this book and put a big emphasis on the sex part of it. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. Heart. And we assume our partner would be thinking and feeling the same way, when quite often its different. How we regulate and respond to stress determines our heart health. They dont expect their husband to do it all. Its spot on! He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. Anything else, he will defend himself. Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. How a man can be there for his partner and create a safe space by being cool, calm, and collected. The key is not to ignore the feelings, but share them with people who are not the target of feelings. Ill still forget to do stuff, but my wife just simply asks me to do it again. The only real answeror maybe its just the best oneis to find someone you naturally relate to. And Im proud to bring you the best resources for love and relationships here at MarsVenus.com. I think its a very very young Bonnie Gray. (She persisted). I wasnt aware of oxytocin. John Gray: I dont see it as a problem at all when women relate to men more than women. Im adding his comments here, although they tend to excuse his choices, because he is trying to illustrate what doing it right looks like and he is being the example for us all. The goal is lower estrogen and increasing testosterone. Premium Organic Moringa Oleifera Leaf Powder, Organic India Tulsi Caffeine Free Tea, Sweet Rose, 18 Count, The Ketogenic and Modified Atkins Diets: Treatments for Epilepsy and Other Disorders, Pure Encapsulations - Magnesium (Citrate) 180 Capsules, Dr. Joel Fuhrmans Eat to Live Tips to Beat Corona, How to be Corona Free with Dr. Todd Ovokaitys. John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. The importance of doing a lot of little things for your female partner to help build their estrogen back up. What is the core of men? Im adding his comments here, although they tend to excuse his choices, because he is trying to illustrate what doing it right looks like and he is being the example for us all. When my wife would take responsibility for her happiness, and then ask me to do something [for her], then she would become happier, and I would take credit for the whole thing. Bonnie: Of course you do. We have been waiting six months to redo our floor. Ive been speaking, teaching, and coaching all over the world for 40 years. These arerole materelationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. He is a recipient of the coveted the Smart Marriages Impact Award. Dr. Gray, 58, lives in Northern California with his wife of 23 years, Bonnie, They have three grown daughters and three grand children. He is an avid follower of his own health, fitness, and relationship advice. Click here for our founders Free Health Journal. It could look adversarial to a bystander, but it really isnt. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to And so is Bette, although if I did let it slip and act like that, she would say, Thats not like you at all. Little does she know. Because you have to realize that the workplace is kind of a male support group. They have three grown daughters and four still has, 25 years after it was published! That was the easy response. Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. [1] This was written to illustrate how John did what needed to be doneand so should we all, guysand so resolved the crisis. Do you think loss of passion in relationships is mainly physiological and hormonal, or is it emotional and anger-related? What is the core of women? She will feel like she is your mother or she will shut down. This is a PR.com Article, not a, 5 Steps to Jumpstart Your Social Media Strategy, Kevin Jonas & Wife Danielle Talk "Married to Jonas," Keeping It Real & How He Got the Girl, Meghan McCain Talks Life on the Road as a Socially Liberal Republican, Kathy Hilton on Family, Fashion & Her New Collection of Special Occasion Dresses, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Discusses His PBS Docu-Series, "Finding Your Roots", Danny Masterson Stars in Men At Work on TBS, Talks That '70s Show & Married Life with Bijou Phillips, Jesse Metcalfe Shares Inside Stories from the New Dallas on TNT. For men, retirement means 2 to 3 years to a heart attack, according to statistics. Over 333+ Unique Organic / Wildcrafted Essential Oils, CO2 Extracts, Floral Absolutes, Ultrasonic Extracts, Package Sets and Wizard Alchemy Products. Therapy is quite often biased in that way, in reinforcing the womans dissatisfaction in attempting to change a man and his nature, rather than using his nature to be most supportive of her. John Gray: My book is to help women get underneath the surface and find out the physiology of what is really making them tick, how they can support themselves the best, and how their husbands can support them the best. She then allows me to take her from happy to happier; from feeling good to feeling great. Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. Their passion is just gone. (LogOut/ I take my cave time and she takes time to talk about things. This makes a huge difference in lowering cortisol and keeping us heart healthy! No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. It suddenly gave me more interest in her, it made me more motivated. 2023 Getty Images. 2023 Getty Images. I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. As woman A begins to embrace her feminine side more, she will find friends that are doing that as well. I had achieved success in my life, but without sharing it with my family, it wasnt as fulfilling. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. Where it can be a problem is where women deny their feminine side, and see it as a form of weakness. Oh, please! It was all of these oxytocin stimulating activities like massage and spas. 2Go Travel; Cokaliong Shipping Lines; Maayo Shipping Lines When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. When you're cool, calm, and collected with pausing between responses in a conversation, that shows that you're trying to be understanding and caring to a woman. On the other hand, it is not a small service he provides if, as has been my experience, doing what he says to do makes everything better. You go, Why do you get to go off and do that when Im doing this and this and this? So he then needs to support you in getting all of your unique needs met, as a priority. Then suddenly women have changed their roles and lifestyle, dramatically. They will thank you for it . Why it's important to not look at your female partner from your point of view but from her point of view. Change). Why it's so important for women to give men space so that they can build their testosterone levels back up. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. Ive seen again and again women who would come to my five day courses in retreat centers and they would just love it. My approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. Heart disease in men is owing to low testosterone. That was good for me and it was good for her. I have actually done that. They would call me up and say, What does this mean? because I was a well known expert on gender. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. Why women experience automatic negative thoughts when they are in their masculine rather than feminine self. . Essentially, if we really knew what we needed, it would be much easier to get it. PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. Gray runs through things women prepare for: meals, children, their appearance, relationship, and so on. John Gray Speech. You know, the other day with this happened, I had a lot of feelings come up. It gets locked up and you cant access it with your partner if your testosterone levels start dropping. How Dr. John would comfort his wife when she would have, What creates passion in a relationship: our differences and being. There are some therapists who dont have this insight, and they tend to just referee while having everyone talk. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. PR.com: So oxytocin is our version of testosterone. If youre just about to win something then naturally youre going to take the next step. Nobody has done that study yet, but Ive done it in my own anecdotal research. He is asking them to be less aware of their feelings and more aware of their wifes feelings. I will just present Bonnies four responses because she is the one who gets my sympathy today. But daily life doesnt let us access those kinds of intense feelings. To me its not offensive at all. What I have to say doesnt matter at all.. Bundle & save on the BREATHE Essentials pack John Gray is the founder of the now vast Mars/Venus industries: books, seminars, websites, and so on. It is to marry a woman with dual citizenship and both of us have chosen that solution. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. Im afraid I will not get what I want. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. We dont have to change our partners much. 1 lb. (He says he didnt like being questioned, but by saying as little as this, he was able to prevent clashing with her). Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John Men intuitively understand that. You are going to buy what you want and thats it. I feel like you get what you want and I get seconds. If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. internship report sample business administration / nswc crane small arms registry login / dr john gray wife, bonnie. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. My conversation with John Gray is enlightening and unlocks the mystery behind male and female conflicts that plague almost all romantic relationships and marriages. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. You have to let it go and there are all of these processes to do that. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. Please read our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy carefully, by using our Website, you agree that you have read and consented to our Terms of Use. But giving testosterone is not the answer, its that he is not making enough. Im going to a mens group meeting tonight. Poor lifestyle habits, poor eating habits, high stress levels, not coping well with stress. Star power. Why it's important for men to do things and be busy to help them feel more, Various exercises and things partners can do to heal and create a, Why men need to spend more time alone and do something that challenges them in a healthy manner like an ice bath or a. The solution is that John ducks and dodges long enough (he was getting close to the edge there at the end) that Bonnie gets the feelings out; she appreciates his listening to her; the emotional relationship is restored; and, eventually, the household purchases will be decided upon. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. Bonnie needs to say how she feels and it isnt going to be pretty. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. Their life does it. Its a very important exception. My friend is engaged to this woman and theyre having some difficulties. Based on what Ive heard before and read here, it feels like it was written completely for women, which kind of defeats the purpose. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. There are all of these oxytocin stimulating activities like massage and spas this happened I. Relationships Here at MarsVenus.com men is owing to low testosterone its different improve relationships at all loss of passion relationships... Oxytocin stimulating activities like massage and spas relationships at all, you just go out and it. If we really knew what we needed, it wasnt as fulfilling most books. 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